Ouch. Stop hitting so close to home. (I don't know how to bridge my most inner self with my exterior scars. How can i let my most inner self experience things, if my protective shell is too busy destroying the rainbow before the color hits my veins. ) And I ain't even a pretty. Does this come down to worth ? Obviously I am unworthy of love, and attention. So I must deflect, and maybe even never learn the signals - they say there are cues one can detect, hmm - ... maybe for women it is the (this is just an idea/an pinion) varieties that also confound, the lust, the commodification, the mechanism, the ego boost that all can sometimes be described as desire (perhaps by both parties, but surely by the ignorant desirer) ... all that litter obscures the true desires for your time and attention and you ideas and your smile and just you. And the litter can come in some fancy packages that make the truer one seem more mundane. Perhaps. (Or this is another form of the male narrative, that too is a possibility.) And sometimes we make bad choices. And soon we describe them as a type. But I suspect that was the patriarchal training dressed as culture. It is hard to find one we can be honest with, and in the honesty flourish, both as people and as a unit.
For the record, you are a Substackian I would gladly invite to a BBQ to hear your laughter and ideas and just take in your energy. (All that, obviously, in a non-creepy way... )
Ouch. Stop hitting so close to home. (I don't know how to bridge my most inner self with my exterior scars. How can i let my most inner self experience things, if my protective shell is too busy destroying the rainbow before the color hits my veins. ) And I ain't even a pretty. Does this come down to worth ? Obviously I am unworthy of love, and attention. So I must deflect, and maybe even never learn the signals - they say there are cues one can detect, hmm - ... maybe for women it is the (this is just an idea/an pinion) varieties that also confound, the lust, the commodification, the mechanism, the ego boost that all can sometimes be described as desire (perhaps by both parties, but surely by the ignorant desirer) ... all that litter obscures the true desires for your time and attention and you ideas and your smile and just you. And the litter can come in some fancy packages that make the truer one seem more mundane. Perhaps. (Or this is another form of the male narrative, that too is a possibility.) And sometimes we make bad choices. And soon we describe them as a type. But I suspect that was the patriarchal training dressed as culture. It is hard to find one we can be honest with, and in the honesty flourish, both as people and as a unit.
For the record, you are a Substackian I would gladly invite to a BBQ to hear your laughter and ideas and just take in your energy. (All that, obviously, in a non-creepy way... )
Sounds very much like an artist to me
you kinda blew my mind with that
🥰❤️
I liked what Christopher AF had to say. I too would invite you to a barbeque just to hear your laughter and feel your energy. Nothing creepy.
i swear substack needs to have a bbq lol
you guys dont creeep me out!
😭😭🫂🤐
thank you for saying all of that.